Tochiro's Ultimate Prank
by Gemini14
Summary: An uneventful evening for the captain and crew of the Karyu takes a rather unusual turn, when Young Harlock and Fang turn up on board. What made them decide to come?


Tochiro's Ultimate Prank

It was early in the morning, when the report came in. Zero sighed, irritably, as he got up to answer the door to his cabin; having been roused from sound sleep by Grenadier's loud voice.

"What?" Zero grumbled, as he opened the door and glared up at the taller, bulkier man, and then at the rather flustered-looking Second Officer.

"Sorry t'wake you up, Captain, but something weird has just happened." Grenadier muttered, in response.

"Weird? What's going on now?" Zero again asked, irritably; annoyed when the pair didn't tell him right away just what was going on, and that they had awoken him from sleep for what seemed to be nothing more than a false alarm.

"Harlock is on board, sir." Ishikura replied, finally getting to the point. This only got a confused and startled look from Zero, as a response.

"How could that be?" Zero asked, bewildered by this, to say the least.

"Dunno, but he's got that black wolf of his with 'im." Grenadier stated, as he watched Zero come out of his cabin, and make his way down the hall to the break room. To his amazement, there sat Harlock at the table farthest from the door; irritably sipping on a cup of coffee, while Fang lay dozing at his feet.

"I would ask what you're doing here, my friend, but, judging from your expression, I would be safer not doing so." Zero said, as he cautiously approached the younger man, and sat down across from him.

"Yeah, you would be better off…..Especially since Tochiro is up to his old tricks again." Fang mumbled, as he picked his head up off of his paws, and gave Zero a deadpan look; ignoring the surprised expressions on Ishikura's and Grenadier's faces as he spoke.

"What has he done, this time?" Zero questioned, as a chuckle threatened to escape when he saw the look on Harlock's face.

"He's about to pull off a prank that could very well have gotten me killed, if I'd stayed at the Pirate Islands." Harlock muttered, sourly, glaring into his coffee cup as he did so.

"You mean…..on your father's navigator?" Zero questioned; now VERY curious as to what the prank could be (and could tell that the other two men were eager to learn what it was, as well, since they were lingering nearby). Harlock grimaced and nodded.

"Yes. I can safely say that, by the time all is said and done, Kei may be the one hunting for my head to put on a pike in a few hours." Harlock grumbled, with a sigh.

"I find it kinda hard to believe that you're afraid of a woman, space pirate." Grenadier murmured, yet only got a deadpan look from both wolf and pirate for an answer.

"You have no idea how frightening Kei Yuki can be…..She makes the Noo and the Mazone look cuddly, when she's pissed off." Harlock muttered.

"So you came here to weather the storm, then?" Zero asked, giving both of his subordinates a warning glare to keep them from saying anything else.

"Yeah. Considering how slow these wounds have been in healing, there's no way in hell that I'd be able to outrun her, when Tochiro's prank is successful." Harlock replied, honestly.

"Don't you mean 'if' it works?" Ishikura finally asked, out of turn; his comment getting an arched eyebrow from the pirate captain as an answer.

"This is Tochiro we're talking about, Second Officer…..There is no 'if' when it comes to his pranks. I just hope my absence from the _**DeathShadow**_, the _**Arcadia**_, and the Pirate Islands clears my name of it." Harlock muttered, moodily, then stood and poured the rest of the coffee in his cup down the drain of a nearby sink.

……………………

All was quiet on board the _**Arcadia**_, as Lightningtooth made his nightly rounds before bedding down for the night.

"_I've never known the ship to be so still_….._It's almost suspiciously so_….." Lightningtooth mused, as he rounded a corner, and just about jumped out of his skin when a loud yell suddenly shook the ship.

"Oh no…..Not again….." Lightningtooth muttered, in exasperation, as one thought crossed his mind on what the _**Arcadia**_'s navigator could possibly be upset about. As swiftly as his paws could carry him, Lightningtooth raced back to Harlock's quarters; arriving just seconds before an enraged Kei Yuki stormed in.

"Where are they?! I'm going to turn their asses inside out for this!" Kei raged, as she motioned to herself, and her soaked uniform. Nonplused, Harlock turned and looked at her, an eyebrow rising when he noticed that another prank had been carried out.

"Why are you looking for them in here, then? Shouldn't they be aboard the _**DeathShadow**_?" Harlock questioned, dryly; hiding a smirk behind his wine glass at Kei's irritation.

"Neither of them were there, and I've searched the Pirate Islands from top to bottom. The last likely place was here." Kei fumed, slowly calming down.

"Tochiro is hiding in the Central Computer Room….but Young Harlock I haven't seen all evening." Lightningtooth murmured, speaking up for the first time in this conversation. For the briefest of moments, Harlock's face went pale.

"You haven't sensed any more time holes opening, have you?" Harlock asked, as he set his wine glass down, and gave the scarred wolf a look that held some uneasiness. Lightningtooth shook his head.

"No. Though I did feel it when Fang transported the both of them somewhere. But that was hours ago….." Lightningtooth replied; sensing when his friend's fears were eased by that, and when confusion rose within him, shortly afterwards.

"_If that is the case, then where are they now?_" Harlock silently asked, deciding against speaking out loud when he saw how angry Kei still was.

"_I have my suspicions_….._But no solid proof. We'd have to follow them to find out._" Lightningtooth replied; almost sneezing when an odd scent started coming to his nose, and allowing his jaw to drop when he saw what was now happening in front of them. Almost in response to Kei's agitation, something that looked like steam was rising from her uniform….and the uniform itself was melting!

"_Then I think we'd better leave now, while __we__ still have our heads attached._" Harlock inwardly muttered, as he wisely averted his gaze from the fuming woman, and they both quietly retreated from the room via one of Lightningtooth's portals. Before Kei even knew it, she was alone in the captain's quarters…..and was just realizing that she was almost nude.

"TOCHIRO!!! YOU LITTLE PERVERT!" Kei screamed, shaking the ship once again with her yelling.

…………………….

"We've been followed." Fang murmured, as he picked his head up from his front paws, and glanced in the direction of the door. At this, Harlock actually looked like he wanted to dive under a table (much to Zero's amusement).

"Shit. It isn't Kei, is it?" Harlock asked, edgily; knowing that they would have to move quickly, if that were the case, and that his injuries wouldn't allow him to do that.

"Thankfully enough, no…" Fang replied, yet got some perplexed looks from Zero, Ishikura, and Grenadier for that.

"Then who has just arrived, then?" Zero questioned, as amusement gave way to impatience at the wolf's unusually cryptic behavior.

"Might as well go and find out." Harlock muttered, when he saw Fang yawn yet again, and knew that no more answers would be forthcoming. Yet, they all could only feel surprise, when they arrived on the command deck; right in the midst of the shocked crew that was on-duty at that time of the morning (including an equally surprised Marina Ohki) stood a familiar cloaked figure.

"Dad? What're you doing here?" Young Harlock asked, surprised by this turn of events, to say the least. Zero could feel his heart almost jump out of his chest, when the elder pirate captain turned to look at them, and saw the deadpan expression on his scarred face.

" 'The closer you are to danger, the further you are from harm'…..Sorry to intrude, Captain Zero, but I have the distinct feeling we're going to be here for a while." Harlock muttered, as he strode over to them with a full bottle of wine in hand, and with Lightningtooth right behind him.

"What happened, Dad?" Young Harlock asked, as the stunned Zero mutely guided them back to the break room.

"You don't want to know. Trust me on that." Harlock replied, then added, "All I can say, however, is that this prank in particular tops all of those you and Tochiro Jr. had carried out together on Kei."

"But this was all Tochiro's doing, this time." Young Harlock grumbled, in irritation, as they arrived in the break room and had a seat at one of the tables closest to the wall.

"Try telling Kei that." Lightningtooth muttered; snickering when he sensed how uneasy that seemed to make the father and son.

"No thanks." Both pirate captains mumbled, dryly, as wine glasses were retrieved, and the elder Harlock poured drinks for himself, his son, and Zero.

"_I never thought I would see the day, when a military vessel would be safer for an outlaw than said outlaw's own ship!_" Zero mused, as he watched both space pirates while he drank the alcohol; the irony of the situation glaring, to say the least.

_**Owari**_

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**_Author's Note!_**

**_Might post another story in connection to this, later, but I hope this made some sense! Thanks for reading!_**

**_Gemini14_**


End file.
